That Sign Can't Stop Me Because I Cant Read
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There are only two things you can truly control—your thoughts and your behavior. No i else can choose either ane of those for you. But sometimes intrusive thoughts well-nigh unwanted events tin can inundation your mind and it tin feel like your thoughts are controlling you.
Whether it is something that happened in the past or a future effect yous are worried virtually, negative rumination robs yous of your nowadays well-being and, over time, can lead to serious problems similar depression or feet.
Why do we ruminate on negative things?
- Sometimes we are trying to figure out a solution to a problem.
- Sometimes we are expecting something to get wrong and trying to avoid an unfavorable outcome.
- Sometimes a part of our brain isn't functioning properly and a set of neurons gets stuck firing over and over once again.
- Sometimes it is just a bad habit.
The problem with ruminating
The problem with ruminating is that most often you are focused on things going incorrect instead of how to generate the solutions to resolve the state of affairs and make things get right. If your boss got angry with yous, you may be ruminating nigh what you did and worrying that if you do it again at that place might be serious consequences like losing your job. You might replay the scene with your boss over and over in your caput, or worry excessively almost what would happen if the worst-case scenario did come to pass. This kind of thinking activates your fight-or-flying response which really shuts down your artistic trouble-solving thought process. In society to notice the resolution that will permit yous to let go of the problem, you need to disengage from the ruminative thought blueprint.
Stopping thoughts, yet, isn't something we are very expert at.
Psychologists refer to this every bit "the white carry problem," because deliberate attempts to suppress thoughts can often make them more likely to resurface.one If I say to call back of a white bear, and and so tell y'all to end thinking about it, chances are the white bear image will stay in your mind. The reason information technology does is that there is no "Off" button in the brain. To terminate any single thought, you demand to plow on or activate a dissimilar stream of thinking.
How to end your thoughts
Following are four ways you lot can brainstorm to regain control over your thoughts.
ane. Engage in an activeness on a different emotional frequency.
Feeling follows idea, so negative rumination generates negative emotions. Worrying makes you feel anxious. However, psychologists know beliefs can change emotions, besides. If you do something that y'all know by and large makes you feel better—going for a run, calling a friend, watching your favorite moving picture, or meditating—you can raise your emotional frequency. When you are in a better mood, you lot can remember more clearly and may gain a different perspective on the situation. Doing something that generates positive emotion also acts equally a distraction task past but giving you something else to focus your attention on.
2. Write down all the reasons why what yous fear will not happen.
The majority of the things we worry about never happen. That'due south because near of the time there are lots of valid reasons why what we worry about is unlikely. Nonetheless, considering our encephalon works on an activation/inhibition model,ii agile thoughts nearly what could get wrong inhibit it from thinking of the reasons these thoughts may not exist rational. Information technology requires a full-bodied conscious attempt to shift this train of thought and call up of the reasons why your fear isn't probable to come to pass.
3. Write downwards all the reasons why fifty-fifty if the worst-instance scenario did happen, you would all the same be okay.
Many times we feel that if something unwanted were to happen, it would be completely devastating: We wouldn't be able to survive, or we'd be forever unhappy. The truth is that difficult, unwanted things happen all the fourth dimension and people survive and sometimes even come up out the better because of them. Our brains are extremely adaptive to our relative circumstances: Many paraplegics, a year after their injury, report just equally much happiness as lottery winners.three How well you handle whatever situation depends largely on your perception of your ability to cope with information technology. Instead of focusing on why you won't be okay, think of your strengths. Think of the hard things you lot take already overcome in life and why you are resourceful plenty to get through other challenges.
4. Create an action-oriented, solution-focused reframe.
When you accept a resolution to the situation, you will have both reduced the demand for your brain to ruminate and given yourself something effective to focus on instead, which replaces the ruminative thoughts. Asking yourself a few simple questions tin can assist you move towards generating a solution:
a. What do I believe this situation means for me?
Because we can only move forward in fourth dimension, we tend to remember of events that happen to us in terms of what they mean for united states in the future. If you have an argument with your boss, you lot worry nearly what it will hateful for your future: Our relationship might be damaged; I might not get a promotion. (If something bad happened but information technology had admittedly no bearing on your life going forrad, it wouldn't bother you much.)
b. What do I want to happen?
I would like to repair my relationship with my boss. Clarity about what you desire is a prerequisite to developing a solution to any problem.
c. What can I practise that is likely to bring that near?
I tin can ask to encounter with my boss to discuss the situation. I can make sure to keep my temper in cheque in the future. I can continue to interact in a positive style. I can make an effort to show my value. A plan to deal with a problem causes you lot to run across the situation differently and reduces your feet and the need to ruminate.
If all else fails, think that thoughts are only thoughts, and just because yous think something doesn't make information technology truthful. You don't accept to act on your thoughts; you can merely observe them and let the unhelpful ones go by.
LinkedIn image: polkadot_photo/Shutterstock
References
1. Wegner, D., & Schneider, D. 2003. The White Bear Story. Psychological Inquiry, fourteen (iii/4), 326–329.
2. Pribram, K., & McGuinness, D. 1975. Arousal, Activation, and Try in the Command of Attention. Psychological Review 82 (2),116-49.
3. Brickman, P., Coates, D., & Janoff-Bulman, R. 1978. Lottery winners and accident victims: is happiness relative? Pers Soc Psychol, 36(8), 917-27.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201512/what-you-can-do-when-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-something
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